The Half Hour Car Wash...

So I'm sitting in a car wash waiting area, awaiting the emergence of a new, shiny vehicle which will replace the mud plastered blue thing that made it's grand, trauma-inflicting entrance a few seconds ago.

There's an art to everything. Even negotiating discounts at car washes. I spent a good five minutes discussing with the human car washer why I really needed to pay a discounted price. I'm ashamed to say, I got it. Ashamed because I'm sure I paid half of what I should've. My car hasn't visited the Amazon rain forest or anything remotely close in severity, but I'm almost sure it has remnants of jungle residue.

Seriously. I could count with my ten fingers how many times I've actually washed it since its purchase three years ago.  And what I mean by "I" is the automatic car wash machine that turns on after I insert my three dollar bills...

And I'm thinking: "if only I could get a car wash for my soul." Like a soul-scrubbing interior one. I wouldn't even try to get a discount. Really. Pinky promise...

I'd just pay full price like a good citizen of the United States of America. Honest.

Anyway, I pray that God cleans me everyday. Rids me of embarrassing moments, where I don't see my errors and  point out someone else's.

That's He reminds me  that I have to take the good and take the bad and  just stay silent. Not negotiate for a better life.

Not always want to change my life into a perfect Version of what it should be like. But get messy and cry and breathe and enjoy every moment of bad or ugly. And simply grow and learn to love truly and wholly. And decide to forgive fully and without expecting anything in return.

Yes, let's please...

Me Again...

It's me again.

Yes me. The weird 25 year old woman who is sitting in front of a water fountain keeping herself company.

Yes, I'm sitting in the blazing hot sun, hoping to get a tan. I'm aiming my legs in the direction of the sun's rays, believing I will return to the office a new woman. Well Atleast a woman with a new skin tone.

Yes, that's me.

I'm reflecting and soaking in. I'm basking in my own thoughts of past and present memories.

I'm remembering the time that a nice, young man at work called me within four minutes of leaving my office. He asked me out for drinks or dinner, as he fumbled with words.

My legs are now burning... Good cause. Good cause.

The self assured individual that he was... Was nervous as he attempted to get a positive response from the girl he had just met. And to be quite honest, I think I was even thinking of him as I received the call, smiling.

Yes, that's me thinking. Thinking so much I just went back to my tanning station to retrieve my forgotten umbrella. But hey, I remembered.

So back to my story...

I'm not sure how I turned the guy down. I can't remember. But what I do remember is that I knew I'd never forget that particular, daring go-getter of a man. He knew what he wanted and knew he couldn't miss his chance. So he took a plunge. Very admirable.

So regardless of whether or not I got my tan from sitting here sweating. I know that every moment of thought and reflection is worth while. Because some moments are worth remembering.

Remember the right ones. Don't let go of those moments. Be daring enough to dream. Because one day, that dream will become a reality. And that realty will be the ultimate reward you have been saving yourself for.

Kamikaze.... Who?

I was really busy at work today… Keep that in mind throughout this blog post

After making a ton of phone calls at work to clients who did not answer, I was pretty much just flat out tired and bored, which is so not like me… on most days, anyway

So I did what I knew I had to do:

I googled “Top 100 funny quotes” just to wake myself up and get a hint of the me that had walked into the office with a cheery smile and a good ole’ cup of Joe aka Life Source glued to my hand.

(And to all those who don’t know this about me: Google is to me what a compass is to a sailor: Imperatively Absolutely Undoubtedly NECESSARY)

Like panting for my next breathe, I pulled up Internet Explorer and said to myself: Laughter, that’s what I need right about now…

So I read a few quotes, before bursting into good laughter in intervals.

Anyway, I came across one that made me laugh… And since it is common of me to disclose embarrassing information about myself. Here goes: I had absolutely no idea what the quote was talking about.

“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”

(I laughed then thought, “Wait, why not?”)

So, I googled once more. Thank you, google.

As it turns out, these were pilots who were in my own words… Terrorist Pilots. It’s like saying a terrorist was to visit the hospital to get all his necessary vaccinations… a day before blowing himself up. Wouldn’t want to leave this earth unvaccinated, you know.

Enough sarcasm for today. So these pilots decided to put on their handy dandy helmets before willingly crashing into enemy aircrafts.

This quote really got me thinking about all those things we do and really shouldn’t. Like locking the door every morning on your way out to work, when you know the electronic door knob is broken. Like holding a grudge when you know you’ve made the same exact mistake once or twice yourself. Like buttering the bake sheet where you will place your already-heavily buttered biscuits.

Just unnecessary and plain dumb... Let's save us some much needed time today, dear friends... :) 

Until next time...

He Looked My Way...

I had the weirdest day...

I felt as if I was looking at myself through a crystal ball. Walking around doing my thing. Here and there. And I enjoyed every second of it. 

For those of you who don't know, I can be pretty embarrassing. I will do or say something to make even myself laugh at me.  And hey, it keeps me busy. It keeps me entertained. Besides, it's great having the ability to make someone laugh., right?

So I went to a cafe to have some expensive lunch, since I Of course, forgot to pack a lunch. And after ordering my chicken Caesar salad, extra Caesar dressing and croutons, I chose a spot facing the window. 

I love observing people. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't choose anthropology as a major in college. Anyway, I am staring at the window when I see a young specimen walk past and kind of stop to look directly at me. I thought: "Geez, I didn't even do my hair...!" 

When all of a sudden, he smiles as if posing in front of a mirror and begins to fix his hair... Wait just a moment. 

...He was looking at his own reflection. 

Sad, truly, how people look right past you just to see themselves . How a lot of the times, being invisible brings perspective. 

And I was definitely put into perspective. I began to think about my own invisibility and how God discovered me and looked my way. He looked at me. Not past me.  

He said, "Wow, that girl at the other side of the window. What great plans I have for her. What great, awe-inspiring things she will do. And she doesn't even know it..." 

And while God is sending me a lopsided grin, tinted in amazement and secrecy, I hope to look His way and notice that He is indeed looking at ME. 

And in a world tainted with egoism and disappointment, I hope to smile back at Him and wave. Yes, wave and maybe even shout. "Hi, I see You! Thank you for noticing me. Thanks for realizing I'm sitting here eating an expensive salad. I knew I should've listened to that small voice inside of me that told me to go to the McDonald's dollar menu. But even in my own ignorance and lack of good judgement, you found me sitting here and stopped to smile and think wonderful things about me. Thank you!"

Yes, thank you! 

XOXO.... Because of you

Have you ever lived throughout the day, so into the pattern of life that you forget to do one teeny, tiny. Little thing?

                It's not a huge, complicated task... Really. 

        On most days we do this... without thinking.

We take this insignificant normalcy of life for granted.

              BREATHING

So today, in the midst of speaking to clients and learning over and over again that I really should be grateful for being who I am, I forgot to tell myself to breathe. To slow down. To drink coffee. To take a short walk with myself and even  buy myself a cupcake. To observe the beautiful buildings around me and say hi to the persistent old man selling newspapers in front of my job. To send my friends a group text and remind them to breathe, too. 

Or maybe, even possibly.... Smile

Breathe for the simple reason that they make my breaths "breathable"

              That because of them, I know more about myself

       And those things I still don't know about myself are in their diaries 

               Smile for the simple fact that they are making my life a better place

Their unique laughs  and quirky smirks help in making life what it should be

                                      They bring me:

A quick reminder to not forget my purse at the restaurant

... Or a pat on the shoulder saying, "You made it home without a gps!"


The realization that I'm letting my anxieties get the best of me.

                    You see,

         I'm truly a different person because  of them

And without them, well that's just... Unthinkably ridiculous to ponder

So...

Breathe with me

           And thank you for sticking it through 
                                  XOXO

The Kindness in her Smile...

Two lovebirds sitting on the swingset, noticing not the metal cage that surrounds them. 

A retired couple playing catch on a chilly afternoon, sending admiring glances at one another. 

Riding their bikes during every warm and tormenting season in Chicago.

Well... love struck me in the face full force today. 


Love stood on the highway holding a sign saying "Slow Down!" 

The impact of a love so pure...

A daily stroll down the neighborhood. A lengthy game of catch, played for the sake of campanionship. 


It's pure. It's simple. It's love. 


A thing of the ages...


TIMELES+True


Try as you might you can't explain it. We've been taught to see to believe. Touch to know it's real. 


If it's not palpable, hard core evidence... discard the theory. And the evidence. 


There are those who live to disprove the impossible. Others who live trying to testify of it.


All part of the cycle of life. 


There is one thing that becomes the universal mystery:


Is love real or a figment of the brain?

 After all, why believe in something invisible?

I believe in the invisible. I believe in love. I live for family and friends.

I live for the unshed tears of pain produced of a love so real. 

I live for that smile that encourages me to go on. 

I live for God's whispers of hope. 

I live for Love. 

"How About I Take You Out for Lunch?"

I'm posting an old blog dated 2012. Here goes:


It's nice to be liked. To be coddled and noticed.

It's what keeps females females.

And it's what got a smile on my face this morning while I was sitting at work with a less-than-enthusiastic face. Not exactly in my best moment.

But as soon as I got the call, I had a boosted level of... well, LIFE.

It may sound so overrated. Call me a girl. That's what I am.

After having visited a high school for an on-site work project, I was pretty much overwhelmed with all the people I met that day and the parents that had left me phone numbers where I had to follow up within the week.

A nice young teacher had approached me a couple of times and asked to have one of the candies I had sitting on the table. The type of specimen you would find at your local Starbucks drinking a latte, while typing a hundred words per minute, thinking about how he is a step closer to his Master's degree.

Well, after having picked up one of my cards... He called and asked for me at work. He gave me the nice "I need help with my finances" pick-up line and led me to believe he really wanted to buy a new home. Maybe. Maybe not.  But he finally got to the point of his call when he said:

"So, I'm sorry if It might sound direct and inappropriate, but is it okay if I take you out for lunch soon?" (I added the bold and italics to give you an idea of the way this guy asked.)

Well, nice try, Robert, you did not get a date, but you sure made a small part of my day. Don't worry that's not what I replied, but you get my point.

So I will take what I can get and see life as filled with unexpected twists and turns.

• Getting a sunny call from a long lost friend whose phone number you had lost.
• Receiveing a fresh bouqet of edible flowers at work. From your sweet sister.
• Ordering a latte and being referred to by name every morning.
• Meeting for lunch with friends at an expensive restaurant.
• Taking a much needed trip to another country and getting an allergic reaction to foreign Mosquitos 

Unapologetically... And On Purpose

I guess life takes takes crazy turns on purpose.

To purposely make you laugh at yourself

Or cry...

In the bathroom... For hours at night

Our most treasured dreams are meant to first break our hearts before we could ever appreciate them when they come to actually pass.

 A first love is not always first and final, as much as you thought it always would be. Maybe a second in store is truly meant to offset the deficiencies of the first.

But you LEARN

More about yourself

...And God


You learn to LIVE

Unapologetically

On Purpose

Tripping and falling...

...Getting lost and being found

Asking for directions to get back on the right track

You learn to LIVE and TRUST and FAIL

Because failing is necessary... Take it from me

I am simply marveling at life today, and wondering where I would be without the downfalls. How much less exciting life would be if I didn't dare to dance in the car during traffic hour and smile widely at random people, when my life is at it's worst. When I decide to defy the odds and turn what could be bitterness into seemingly, unreasonable joy.

I'm laughing today. I'm taking a stroll with myself after work to inhale Sunshine. Air. Freedom.

I'm daring to be liberated. From my past. From the mistakes I will surely make tomorrow. From the mistakes I almost made. From loss. From pain.

I will LIVE

... And I will not apologize

Or have regrets... (No matter how many embarrassing things I may do)