XOXO.... Because of you

Have you ever lived throughout the day, so into the pattern of life that you forget to do one teeny, tiny. Little thing?

                It's not a huge, complicated task... Really. 

        On most days we do this... without thinking.

We take this insignificant normalcy of life for granted.

              BREATHING

So today, in the midst of speaking to clients and learning over and over again that I really should be grateful for being who I am, I forgot to tell myself to breathe. To slow down. To drink coffee. To take a short walk with myself and even  buy myself a cupcake. To observe the beautiful buildings around me and say hi to the persistent old man selling newspapers in front of my job. To send my friends a group text and remind them to breathe, too. 

Or maybe, even possibly.... Smile

Breathe for the simple reason that they make my breaths "breathable"

              That because of them, I know more about myself

       And those things I still don't know about myself are in their diaries 

               Smile for the simple fact that they are making my life a better place

Their unique laughs  and quirky smirks help in making life what it should be

                                      They bring me:

A quick reminder to not forget my purse at the restaurant

... Or a pat on the shoulder saying, "You made it home without a gps!"


The realization that I'm letting my anxieties get the best of me.

                    You see,

         I'm truly a different person because  of them

And without them, well that's just... Unthinkably ridiculous to ponder

So...

Breathe with me

           And thank you for sticking it through 
                                  XOXO

The Kindness in her Smile...

Two lovebirds sitting on the swingset, noticing not the metal cage that surrounds them. 

A retired couple playing catch on a chilly afternoon, sending admiring glances at one another. 

Riding their bikes during every warm and tormenting season in Chicago.

Well... love struck me in the face full force today. 


Love stood on the highway holding a sign saying "Slow Down!" 

The impact of a love so pure...

A daily stroll down the neighborhood. A lengthy game of catch, played for the sake of campanionship. 


It's pure. It's simple. It's love. 


A thing of the ages...


TIMELES+True


Try as you might you can't explain it. We've been taught to see to believe. Touch to know it's real. 


If it's not palpable, hard core evidence... discard the theory. And the evidence. 


There are those who live to disprove the impossible. Others who live trying to testify of it.


All part of the cycle of life. 


There is one thing that becomes the universal mystery:


Is love real or a figment of the brain?

 After all, why believe in something invisible?

I believe in the invisible. I believe in love. I live for family and friends.

I live for the unshed tears of pain produced of a love so real. 

I live for that smile that encourages me to go on. 

I live for God's whispers of hope. 

I live for Love. 

"How About I Take You Out for Lunch?"

I'm posting an old blog dated 2012. Here goes:


It's nice to be liked. To be coddled and noticed.

It's what keeps females females.

And it's what got a smile on my face this morning while I was sitting at work with a less-than-enthusiastic face. Not exactly in my best moment.

But as soon as I got the call, I had a boosted level of... well, LIFE.

It may sound so overrated. Call me a girl. That's what I am.

After having visited a high school for an on-site work project, I was pretty much overwhelmed with all the people I met that day and the parents that had left me phone numbers where I had to follow up within the week.

A nice young teacher had approached me a couple of times and asked to have one of the candies I had sitting on the table. The type of specimen you would find at your local Starbucks drinking a latte, while typing a hundred words per minute, thinking about how he is a step closer to his Master's degree.

Well, after having picked up one of my cards... He called and asked for me at work. He gave me the nice "I need help with my finances" pick-up line and led me to believe he really wanted to buy a new home. Maybe. Maybe not.  But he finally got to the point of his call when he said:

"So, I'm sorry if It might sound direct and inappropriate, but is it okay if I take you out for lunch soon?" (I added the bold and italics to give you an idea of the way this guy asked.)

Well, nice try, Robert, you did not get a date, but you sure made a small part of my day. Don't worry that's not what I replied, but you get my point.

So I will take what I can get and see life as filled with unexpected twists and turns.

• Getting a sunny call from a long lost friend whose phone number you had lost.
• Receiveing a fresh bouqet of edible flowers at work. From your sweet sister.
• Ordering a latte and being referred to by name every morning.
• Meeting for lunch with friends at an expensive restaurant.
• Taking a much needed trip to another country and getting an allergic reaction to foreign Mosquitos 

Unapologetically... And On Purpose

I guess life takes takes crazy turns on purpose.

To purposely make you laugh at yourself

Or cry...

In the bathroom... For hours at night

Our most treasured dreams are meant to first break our hearts before we could ever appreciate them when they come to actually pass.

 A first love is not always first and final, as much as you thought it always would be. Maybe a second in store is truly meant to offset the deficiencies of the first.

But you LEARN

More about yourself

...And God


You learn to LIVE

Unapologetically

On Purpose

Tripping and falling...

...Getting lost and being found

Asking for directions to get back on the right track

You learn to LIVE and TRUST and FAIL

Because failing is necessary... Take it from me

I am simply marveling at life today, and wondering where I would be without the downfalls. How much less exciting life would be if I didn't dare to dance in the car during traffic hour and smile widely at random people, when my life is at it's worst. When I decide to defy the odds and turn what could be bitterness into seemingly, unreasonable joy.

I'm laughing today. I'm taking a stroll with myself after work to inhale Sunshine. Air. Freedom.

I'm daring to be liberated. From my past. From the mistakes I will surely make tomorrow. From the mistakes I almost made. From loss. From pain.

I will LIVE

... And I will not apologize

Or have regrets... (No matter how many embarrassing things I may do)

The King and the Insignificant Pup

On my way to work today, I picked up the Bible and read 2 Samuel 9.

And I swear, I almost cried...

But my mom was right next to me so I didn't.

The story I read was about King David. And I think the majority of us know David's close relationship to Jonathan, Saul's son. Where they should have become enemies, they became brothers.

Their friendship ends tragically when Jonathan dies at war, alongside his father, the enemy. But David makes a promise to bless the house of Jonathan, despite their ties to the evil King Saul.

Years later...

David remembers his promise and asks one of his men to find if there were still any living from the house of Jonathan.

And there was.

One man.

A crippled man.

Who could not walk.

What really got to me was what this man said when he appeared before David. Raggedy clothes and all. Clinging to his chair or crutches. Dirty from lack of water. And utterly ashamed before the man that had endured persecution from his ancestors.

Mephibosheth was standing before his King.

He was being noticed.

So hold on to your kleenex box...

Mephibosheth bowed down and said,

“What is your servant, that you should notice...

a dead dog like me?”

I felt him this morning. And I wondered if I would have phrased it just like that. Would I have considered myself at exactly that level?

Because this morning, while I read this text, I did. I felt ashamed that for a moment I thought, " Wow, might that phrase have been a tad bit exagerated?"

But it wasn't.

He saw what he was.

DO we see what we are? Where we came from? What we were and could be if we leave Him behind?

The King came to meet him, he gave him riches, and shared his table with him everyday. The lowly pup, was now someone. He was the man that ate with the King. The man with the 20 houses and 1000 cattle. The man with 60 servants.

Are you willing to admit that you are a "dead dog"? Answer that in my comments. I am curious...

Job Offer, Raised Salary, and a Cupcake for lunch...

Job Offer..

The job you've always wanted. Handed to you in a silver platter.

Raised Salary...

Going from part time to full time glory.

a Cupcake for Lunch...

Probably the only getaway from competition, incentive plans, and squishy anti-stress balloons.

God did it, guys! Thanks for the prayers. Becuase I got the JOB! Not the one I wrote about in my previous blog, but one two steps higher. Becuase God must be listening. I might have a long road ahead of me, but I'll take it one step at a time.

Just don't let me drown in checking accounts.

Please take me out for a cupcake once a week. Drag me to the lake. Make me take my eisle and paintbrush. Force me to paint the ocean, even though I insist on drawing my incentive plan from work. The one I am failing to meet. (God forbid)

Take me to fly a kite on a windy day. Show me how to play hockey in winter. Remind me that Dunkin Donuts still sells hot cocoa. That coupons are still mailed to my home.

Sign on the line below, if you are willing to remain friends in the good and the bad:

X______________________________________________________


Sincerely Yours,

Ann I Dee

Aspirin...

"Aspirin goes a long way back. I read in the Bible the other day that Moses took two tablets."


It's for a reason, pills were invented. But seriously... life can become exhuasting and overbearing. Here goes an email I sent a dear friend in reply to her email. I am ommitting parts for her anonymous sake:

Dear Anonymous,

I could tell you a gazillion reasons why you shouldn't feel that way. Atleast a hundred people whose heart you would destroy. A million more problems you would create. And definitely one big world you would rob of your smile.

BUT it wouldn't change a thing if you don't think about what I am about to tell you...

The night before Jesus died on the cross, He felt alone, abandoned, unimportant, unappreciated. He felt depressed with seeing humanity as it was. In that moment, Anonymous, He was reading your life's diary. He was zooming in on this specific part of your life. Waiting, trying to see beyond it. Trying to see you through it. He wanted to see what you would decide.

And He is still waiting. waiting. waiting. for you to go to HIM. Let it go. Let yourself be loved. Accept forgiveness.

Only then will be able to appreciate and take in all the love around you. The love that shines when your little brother secretly waits for you to get home. The joy you bring your mom every time you walk through the door. The peace you bring to ppl like me who need something to smile about. That sense of security you share with your sister. That everything will be okay as long as you are there with her.

You know I feel like crying. But I wont because i might get fired. yes, there is much to cry about. especially when a dear sister feels like her only option is... the inthinkable