"Free Milk and Cookies", They Said...

I'm 27 years old, yet still as food-motivated as the three year old I once was. 

I was remembering this past Christmas. Mostly because during this time where winter seems to want to stick around and April Is still pretty darn cold, it seems like the faster route to happiness would be going back to Christmas and just redoing the whole experience lol! I LOVE Christmas! I still believe in Santa Claus! (I'm so kidding about that.) But I could probably willingly confuse myself into believing it for the sake of a more magical Christmas. This Christmas my brother and I went to see It's a Wonderful Life- in live radio. The coolest experience ever! Really, it topped opening this year's presents. Anyway, this bring me to my point: when I saw this live radio ad at my job's lobby, the one thing that gave me the ultimate motivation to attend the show was the "Free Milk and Cookies Post Show" comment on the bottom. No, I didn't even notice the opportunity to speak to the cast and take meaningful pictures to add to Instagram. I just kept thinking: ooh! Cookies!

Come on, let's be honest. I can afford my own cookies. But the concept of free cookies blows my mind in the saddest of ways. 

That being said: At work, we try to keep a competitive work environment. So the two most competitive people at the office usually chose what the winner's prize will be. I suggested Chick Fil A. Not a gift card or Leave Early from Work pass, but food.

Bottom line: I need Jesus. A little more everyday. 

Random Thoughts and the Hidden Pint of Ice Cream

Hola.

It's fifteen minutes to bed time and I figured I'd make good use of my time. Like any normal person, I meditate on the ongoings of the day right about now. And what better way to do that than letting my fingers do the typing instead of thinking random thoughts in all directions.

A few months ago, I started a tradition at work. Right at about 2pm, I sneak downstairs to our break room and pull out my pint of Edy's French silk slow churned ice cream. Spoon in hand, I dig the ice cream right out of the carton and eat. Just like that. Spoonful after spoonful, increasing my energy and happiness. It's truly a beautiful thing. And so it became my scheduled alone time.

As it came to pass, I was discovered by one of my co-workers, who went on to tell the rest of my coworkers. It's a sad thing, really. How quickly word travels. And how long a person can laugh at something so totally normal!

So naturally, I'm writing this on my blog as a form of confession that yes, I need help and two, I am not the least bit ashamed by being human. I'll soon be 28 years old and I eat ice cream straight from a carton. At work.

I find joy in the simplest of  pleasures. I like Coach and Prada and wearing Classy suits. But really, I'm into candy and ice cream and burgers, just the same. I don't like pretentious people that don't eat cheeseburgers. Haha. I'll take that back. Not everyone that doesn't each cheeseburgers is pretentious. And not everyone has to like burgers.

Although, I think people that enjoy eating are the best of people. I feel connected to people that enjoy the foods I do. Lol.

I'm so glad the no white after Labor Day rule is over and done with.

Did I ever believe in unicorns?

I wonder what really happened to Amelia Earhart...

Enough said.

good night

Down and Dirty- Valentines and the ER Room

Really, I don't purposely mean to write a series of blogs featuring unfortunate events in my life. But it just so happens that way lately. So here goes: this is what makes a girl real. You're welcome.

My Valentine's Day gone Wrong...

I look forward to Valentines every year. Whether I'm single or in a relationship, the thought of Valentines brings a smile to my face. Sometimes a melancholy smile, mind you. But a smile nonetheless. 

This Valentines Day took me to the ER, where I felt as if my whole world was crumbling. Really, my WHOLE world. Because one of the most dearest, loved persons in my life was sent to the ER. I received a call at work with the news. All I knew is that it was potentially heart related. I can't recall every detail but I do remember running out to my courtesy vehicle (car crash Day before) and speeding all the way to Northwestern hospital. In the small compact Yaris displaying a body shop's name in every available area of the vehicle. Thinking: I'm going to have a panic attack on the road. I don't think this little Yaris can go fast enough.

I just whispered to myself: remain calm and collected. For his sake. I didn't utter a word out loud for fear of crying. So I prayed. More like bargained with God. And that's not even something I see as acceptable. But I was desperate. Out of options. Out of my control zone. 

I looked at my little guy, looking a bit helpless and tired. And I wanted to hug him and just cry out loud with him. I wanted to make it all better for him now and forever. I wanted to take the pain for him. 

But I couldn't. 

And I sure didn't. Because I just created a whole lot more personal, muted pain in addition to his. And I again experienced in that moment how much love hurts. How raw pain feels. How life and death can come with a pretty thin line. 

And I also saw God's mercy in my life. And am grateful for the second chance to appreciate my little brother more. To laugh a little more. Talk a little more. Share a little more about life with each other. 

P.S. Mando, don't ever scare the daylights out of me in that way again. Really. I love you!

A Moment Gone-Wrong and the Delightful Turkey Dinner

It's been officially confirmed: Food makes me happy. Food can take away a bad day and make it tolerable.

My SUV's engine band popped as I was driving on the expressway...

On Christmas!

But it's okay. I'm over it. Over how frustrated and irritated I was. How I still haven't gotten my car back. Over how many phone calls I had to make to beg our insurance company to help save us.

Really, I got home and saw delicious turkey on the table. The stuffing was prepared just right. The mashed potatoes were the picture of perfection. O. M. G. The ham!! And I won't even go into the long list of fabulous desserts sitting on the dining room table.

My day was made better. I forgot about the wasted hours in the expressway. The long line of bad luck incidents. Sometimes God gives us small pleasures that from time to time override the really bad, life-threatening ones.

Gone. Vanished. Just like that. I hope to find a love like that. Beside food, an actual person. That person that will make any day better. Even if the day is already fantastic.

Lol. No pressure, no pressure.

Christmas Time, the Grinchy Baker, and The Pinterest Bake Off...

Dear Readers...

I woke up this morning thinking: It's Christmas. A dedicated blogger would write a blog right about now. So without further delay...

I want to say something inspirational and funny. Really, I do. But all I could think of right now is the unbelievably Grinchy baker I came across yesterday, as she obsessively tried her hand at making something for the church baking competition. (Needless to say her name), this (very inexperienced) baker had spent the full week creating desserts that were quite impressive. But baking day came, and with that a lot of anxiety and bad luck. So Good-ole mom had to come to the rescue and take over.

Ladies and gentlemen, that over the top, OCD'd, Pinterest-obssesed baker was Me.

Jesus is the reason for the season, is He not? Well as it turns out, I spent an exorbitant amount of more time thinking about baking disasters than well... Jesus. Ok, so these were my thoughts as I prepped for baking:

It's Christmas. Be happy, you big, green Grinch. You should be thinking about Jesus. Remember? The birth of our Savior? Ok, I'll think Jesus. The healer of my soul. The man who fed crowds with loaves of bread made from heaven. Ahhhhhhh.... Jesus would be so disappointed in my baking! He must've been a fantastic baker here on earth... The Pioneer Woman is testimony to how a good, Christian woman should bake!!

So that clearly didn't go as planned. I know, I know... How pathetic! Here's the good news: Jesus came for us pathetic creatures, too. And I invite all of us to forget picture perfect Pinterest-y things for today. Life is messy and takes unexpected turns at unexpected times. And you know, that makes life kinda fun. And it makes us better people. It helps us appreciate Jesus and how lucky we are to still be loved by Him. Jesus is into Grinchy people. He loves listening to them and observing. Because he knows that eventually... those Grinchy people will realize that all there is to do is let go. And let Him.

Merry Christmas fellow Grinches ;) Now, a shout out to the picture-perfect Pinterest clan! (I aspire to join the club soon)...

Not One, but Three Free Lattes?!

I stopped by Dunkin donuts on my way home from work today. And I walked in not really knowing what I'd decide to order. The young man at the counter asked me what I was having. And it's like my heart spoke for me. My heart-wandering soul spoke for me:

"1 medium Jamoca almond fudge shake" I said smiling.

"Are you sure?" Maybe I looked like I was having an internal battle. And I was. Truly. 

"No, make that a small." He looked at me skeptically. The young man at the counter was scrutinizing me. And he somehow was getting away with dissecting my thoughts. So he smiled and said:

"If you say so. How about a donut with that?" 

To which I said: "Um?"

"Ok, which one?" He said. 

"Sugared. Just one." And he grabbed three and put them in the bag for me. Yep , it's like he knew me, alright. And I just laughed. Out loud. Letting out my frustration of the day. All in one embarrassed laughter. 

He charged me for one donut and a small shake. 

And when I went back to my vehicle with a smile so big I couldn't hide, I shut the door and held back the tears. It was like a secret message had just been transported to me from a place far, far away. Well, more like someplace deep within my heart. It was a small voice saying: 

"Darling, I care. And I know. And I'm in love with your quirks and false modesty for free food. I understand what you mean behind a "just one donut, please" and it makes me smile. And it makes every tear, every heartache worthwhile. Because I am completely devoted to your well being and happiness. And if it takes a couple of free donuts, then that's what I'm all about."

And as if that wasn't enough, I remembered the evening lunch that had been delivered to me at work by a thankful client the day before. The free Drink a thoughtful barista refused to charge me for. The third time in the week. 

You know, sometimes we just want to hear what we want to hear. Or have happen what we want to happen. Our way. Our timing. But ultimately, we begin to miss out on the really awesome things God gives us day by day. So, I'll take it. Every feee donut. Every smile. Every kind gesture from random strangers. 

It's enough, God. You're enough. 

You're enough. 

The Holidays 🎉and My Sister's Hunter Boots 🙄

First, I'll start by saying that I really need to commit to blogging more, because some of the  things that happen to me on a daily basis are down right blog-worthy. If I were a normal person, I wouldn't say them but... a-hem I've come to terms with my simple reality that I wasn't necessarily born to fit in, for the most part.

Now, since we're on the topic of "not very normal", I am posting my Christmas Wish List on the Internet. Hee hee. You're welcome!

1. World Peace. Um, how about we scratch that. It's reminding me a little too much of the book of Revelation and Lordy knows I won't be a part of bringing That Fateful Day upon us sooner than it's meant to, so I  I'll be happy with a new set of pajamas and a matching robe and slippers. I like pink. And the softer the material, the better. :)

2. The elimination of $1 menus at fast food restaurant chains. Too convenient for our poor children of America to over indulge. And really who hasnt fallen privy to the penny saved, penny earned theory? Ok, but since that's not probable to change in the coming year, I'll take an ugly sweater. And what I mean by "ugly" is a cool, trendy sweater. Just christmassy and fun. The more bells and bows, the better. But jeez Louise, not too many bells and bows. Moderation is key. Moderation.

3. I'd like for the ghost of past mistakes and yet un-realized dreams to never pay a visit again. I'm very happy as I am. Thank you very much! Alright, but if that wish isn't possible either, I'll ask for a full collection of audiobooks I can listen to on my post work trips home. I'm open to learning French, Austrian, Mandarin, or really anything I can't currently understand. Drop in a few romantic comedies and mysteries and I will voluntarily be your family for life!

4. A Grand gesture from someone. And act of kindness on a snowy, cold day. And if I could reserve 14 gestures for rainy days, even better. Because dont we all need uplifting moments? Trust me, I'd invest a pretty penny in a company who comes up with a way to do this. Now, if the age of technology can't resolve this one for me, I'll ask for a beautiful Marc Jacobs handbag. You know, because for everything else, there's MasterCard...? Sometimes, I am glad my mom doesn't read my blog. Lol!

Now, I want everyone reading to know I can indeed keep adding to the list, but Dear Sister, I know you're still reading hoping to find out more about the Hunter boots you asked me for Christmas. You know, the Hunter boots with the matching internal warmers. If only the owners of Hunter would have a little more consideration for people' s wallets. But no, they were indeed pricey and since I am terrible with saving gifts until Christmas, I must say that yes, I bought them. And yes, you must wear them EVERY DAY of December, of January, of February, of March, and April, up until your dear Birthday. So Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday. I also threw in this blog, since the anticipation was killing me. Enjoy!

Merry Christmas to All and to all a good night 😴🤗