Job Offer, Raised Salary, and a Cupcake for lunch...

Job Offer..

The job you've always wanted. Handed to you in a silver platter.

Raised Salary...

Going from part time to full time glory.

a Cupcake for Lunch...

Probably the only getaway from competition, incentive plans, and squishy anti-stress balloons.

God did it, guys! Thanks for the prayers. Becuase I got the JOB! Not the one I wrote about in my previous blog, but one two steps higher. Becuase God must be listening. I might have a long road ahead of me, but I'll take it one step at a time.

Just don't let me drown in checking accounts.

Please take me out for a cupcake once a week. Drag me to the lake. Make me take my eisle and paintbrush. Force me to paint the ocean, even though I insist on drawing my incentive plan from work. The one I am failing to meet. (God forbid)

Take me to fly a kite on a windy day. Show me how to play hockey in winter. Remind me that Dunkin Donuts still sells hot cocoa. That coupons are still mailed to my home.

Sign on the line below, if you are willing to remain friends in the good and the bad:

X______________________________________________________


Sincerely Yours,

Ann I Dee

Aspirin...

"Aspirin goes a long way back. I read in the Bible the other day that Moses took two tablets."


It's for a reason, pills were invented. But seriously... life can become exhuasting and overbearing. Here goes an email I sent a dear friend in reply to her email. I am ommitting parts for her anonymous sake:

Dear Anonymous,

I could tell you a gazillion reasons why you shouldn't feel that way. Atleast a hundred people whose heart you would destroy. A million more problems you would create. And definitely one big world you would rob of your smile.

BUT it wouldn't change a thing if you don't think about what I am about to tell you...

The night before Jesus died on the cross, He felt alone, abandoned, unimportant, unappreciated. He felt depressed with seeing humanity as it was. In that moment, Anonymous, He was reading your life's diary. He was zooming in on this specific part of your life. Waiting, trying to see beyond it. Trying to see you through it. He wanted to see what you would decide.

And He is still waiting. waiting. waiting. for you to go to HIM. Let it go. Let yourself be loved. Accept forgiveness.

Only then will be able to appreciate and take in all the love around you. The love that shines when your little brother secretly waits for you to get home. The joy you bring your mom every time you walk through the door. The peace you bring to ppl like me who need something to smile about. That sense of security you share with your sister. That everything will be okay as long as you are there with her.

You know I feel like crying. But I wont because i might get fired. yes, there is much to cry about. especially when a dear sister feels like her only option is... the inthinkable

*Sierra and Joe*

Weeks ago, on a hot day

I have put off writing this specific blog because of the depth of the topic. Becuase as hard as I try to understand it, I cannot.

I cannot understand why two people, after being together for over twenty years, are still happily... together.

I have tried but can't understand how these two admirable people play football in front of their house in unison, in love. How the whole world seems to stop for them. Just for them.

I keep trying but cannot understand how something so illogical can exist between two people who bike ride hand in hand. How their love blossoms with every exchanged smile. Year by YEAR

Yet... Not believe in the invisible. Not believe in God. Not believe in the magical powers that surround us day by day. The realm we do not see... with mortal eyes.

Now, being a a faraway observer/admirer, I am awestruck by the power in their love. It is not a power that can be touched. It is not a scientifically proven law with logical explanations that can be presented in a college classroom. It's simply palpable between them. 

I walked up to this amazing couple and asked how they remain together and in love. They couldn't explain it. And after sharing my faith with them, they shared their lack of it. We both left that conversation with a lot to think about. 

Now, dear friend, think about this: Why be ashamed of believing in something you can't touch? Why deny the existence of love when it is so visible in so many of us? Why not give in to love and hope and faith and grow from it all. And share your hurt and joy and pain with the world to make it a better place tomorrow? 

As for me: I believe in the magical, unexplainable, mind boggling thing most of us like to call love.

No A/C? During 100 Degree Weather?!

I began my day with my daily ritual this morning, walking to my workstation, logging on, and clicking on Internet Explorer for my daily news recap.

I skipped Tyra Bank's fashion mishap, America's best cities for ice cream, and the ridiculous wedding dresses made from...balloons (ok, well not entirely skipped, but still).

As sad and embarrased as I am to say... I was about to overlook the article labeled "Crisis in Somalia". To begin with, I didn't even know where Somalia was located on the map. As it is, I have problems picturing where Central America is (alright, I know where Central America is, but you get my point). So I did the only thing a curious girl with sympathy for the people living in Third World countries could do:

I googled Somalia and found out Somalia is in Africa, near Ethiopia.

I googled their weather and found their weather for today to be 96 degrees, but feels like 103.

I almost googled whether or not they have air conditioner, but thought better of it.

And I was overwhelmed by the severity of the situation. 11.5 million people are without food or water. The nation has reached the point of famine... starvation. The point of emergency assistance. Not to mention the desperation due to heat.

...This past weekend took me to Aurora, Illinois, where I saw Josue Yrion preach. This man is a widely-recognized missionary who has traveled to more than 70 countries to preach the gospel. There, on my cushioned bench, I was able to learn 2 devastating things about myself:

1. I don't know God. I may feel Him. I may read stories about Him. But don't know even a fourth of who God really is. And that is such a terrible loss. I am losing out. All because I don't read the Bible enough.

2. I don't love souls enough. The passion that Jesus had on the cross should be in me. But I think twice before preaching to anyone. To show how far my "sympathy" runs...

3. And I guess I'll add a third for the fun of it. Cushioned seats increase body heat. What does that have to do with me? It is possible for me to sweat even with a high velocity fan hitting the back of my head.  

The fact that I even mentioned the third above shows you what a selfless missionary I would be.

But I am working on it. I promise

...I promise I will read Bible passages I have never read before. Even if it means waking up earlier each morning to do so. Even if my sleep is at stake, I will prevail.

I will even memorize all the books of the Bible in order and remember them, even if it kills me...

It's ALRIGHT. You're on the Right Track...

So you're driving down memory lane and you come across a little girl lying on her bed writing in her journal. She looks up at you, but somehow seems to be looking through you. Her thoughts are probably far away, for she smiles a cute smile that lets you know she'll be alright. Down the road, ten years from now, you just know..

She'll be OK.

And you get this familiar feeling that you know her...

It's the vague sensation you get after meeting someone you knew years ago but can't exactly remember his or her name. When you taste something strangely familiar, but can't put a name to it. Or going into a room and forgetting why you got up in the first place... "What did I just come in here for? I know I needed something. But what was it?"

So you look over her shoulder and she doesn't seem to mind. It is as if you were invisible. She is pouring out her heart on her little notebook, and you can't help but smile loudly. And that's not even possible... so you know you're really smiling like a dork.

"My life is a mess right now. But soon, I know you'll make it better. Becuase you always do."

They were no ordinary words on the pages of her small journal. In fact, the stories in them could've been written by someone much older. She had a maturity. A peace. A faith so big, that you knew she had probably moven a few mountains by now.

And she had...

But here she sits 12 years later, wondering what happened to that peace. To that beauty from pain mentality she had so long ago. Sometimes she can't imagine what could be more satisfying than buying a large iced coffee after work. It's simply all she has to look forward to, maybe.

And you do NOT want to read her diary now. In fact, it'd be easier to sit down and chat with a grizzly bear in front of a small town cafe. It'd save you more strength than wrestling with a few sumo wrestlers from China.

But this girl sits, twelve years later and she writes:

"My life is a mess right now, Lord. But soon, I know you'll make it better. Becuase... eventually... you always do."

"I'm on my way. On my way to nowhere sometimes. But I know I will get there. I will be all that I could be. I will stare at You at the eyes and tell You how many times I thought You weren't there. How many times I wished I could've been held by You. How many times I ached for a little pat on the shoulder. A little slap in the face. Anything, as long as I knew You were there. And now You're here. God. You. Are. Here."

It's a Perfect Day to Get Lost Today

So, I received another inspirational text the other day, that I absolutely must share:

"It's a perfect day to get lost today." (Yes, Joanna, it was you)

Sound inspirational? Maybe, maybe not, but in the midst of all the chaos and rain of that day, I wished I could've simply escaped it all...if only by accident.

And coming from a person that gets lost ALOT... unintentionally, that is telling you something. That being lost sometimes means having the opportunity of finding your way back (or not). Of having the possibility of being found.

Making three left turns (instead of two) and ending up in front of the same person that gave you instructions on how to get home in the first place. Losing all sense of direction as soon as you hit your own alley (assuming you had any to begin with).

Then you know.

 You just know,

things can only get better.

Because after you visit a place 40 times, you know in time, you will learn to get there without a GPS.

...In time

In time...

The Symphony of Possibilities

"When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse." (George Carlin)

So life has really turned a wheel on me lately. I guess I have become accustomed to a life devoid of motion. Not looking forward to the world beyond. Not wondering what tomorrow will hold.

Not dreaming like a child

Not daring to get my shoes dirty in the sandbox. Not letting my ponytail go during the drive back home after work. Not leaving the ketchup on my lower lip untouched when I know people are indeed watching. Not smiling to a very grumpy lady that rams her cart ON TO my feet in the grocery store.

Not believing I can do it all

But, you see...I have permission to do it all

I have a duty to do it all

Becuase I am invinsible...

With God

I know the quote may sound barbaric to some or gruesome to others. But as children, we don't miss a thing. If one thing goes wrong, there are aleast a million other things waiting to go right. And as of late, I have noticed that spark in me... blow out. That enthusiasm that would keep me up at night, dreaming of my future. The can-do attitude that made me happy. In my own little world, I was a fighter. I was fighting obstacles, circumstances, real-life bullies.

ANYWAY

I am close to getting a promotion. At work. Something I had no time to dream of. No strength to dream of. As soon as I heard the possibility of a promotion, I put it aside and said to myself I would not get my hopes up.

Yet here I am. Awaiting my third interview... with the district manager. Something I would've only dreamt of as a child. Not that it's a great position, but it's definitely improving.

So I am telling you, Marlen;) Please dare to dream. To laugh. To feel the breeze on your face. With your windows down. On a hot day. To find God. To love.

It's Not Really Yours...

“Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours.”

After I read this quote... I was touched. I felt like quitting my job and taking the first trip to Columbia, where there are hundreds of orphanages packed with abandoned children in Bogota. I felt like giving away all of my belongings and donating them to the Salvation Army. Like shaving off my hair and giving it to someone going through chemo.

***I felt like not being me.***

Like not being selfish. Not holding back love. Because by not giving love, love will really never be mine. By not telling someone else I have forgiven them, forgiveness will never be mine. If I don't learn to let go of a piece of chocolate, no one else will ever think to give me one... in time of necessity. So, point in case:

"Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours."

If I don't give up some of my time, my time will never be mine. I will belong to the clock. I will be controlled by the clock.

But last week at church, I was taken back to Jesus' times. The times when showing your necessity with no regard for what others around you think is in itself, a necessity.
...A young mother ran inside of our church with her three small, defenseless children. The father followed behind. With a key in his hand. The key he used to slash her throat. I froze in that moment, not knowing how to react. My perfectly timed clock froze. I saw pain. I witnessed the hard reality of life.

Inside was the woman and her children crying. Outside was the father crying. He was fighting the tears, but they were still coming.

"I can't change.

NO. NO. No. I can't."

And I realized.... This is what we are here for. For the broken. The hurt. To cry with them. To grow with them. Leave aside differences and simply love.

So let's give love. Then we will receive it in our hearts until it blooms. Blooms until it can bloom no more.

Until next time....

The FOREVER 21 Syndrome...

Dear FOREVER 21,

I am disappointed! You lied. You made me feel FOREVER young. Forever chic. Forever 21. You should be ashamed, dear Forever 21. I bought your clothes. I saved hard-earned pennies for your cute blouses. Those seemingly cheap headbands... I bought them! Yes, and I never even wear them. I was a faithful FOREVER 21 clearance shopper, I must admit. But I was still faithful! The nerve of you.. to lie.. to cheat!

I could take you picking in my little pockets. But lying? No. NEVER. I could take buying a $10 hair pin. A pin I worked an hour of sitting in front of my work computer to buy. But don't you EVER tell me I am FOREVER 21...  again. Getting a year older has brought me wisdom. No more $8 trendy tights. Target... here I come. Yes, I shall pay a good $5 more, but atleast you wont lie.

It has dawned. The Age of Wisdom and Understanding. The Age of lies. The Age of newfound truth.

                        ***I am no longer 21***

I promise my next blog will speak hope and inspiration. But right now, I am simply the girl who is no longer 21. Tomorrow I will speak poverty and third world hunger. I shall speak in regards to the negative impact McDonald's has on the children of America. The adults of America.

But today I am on strike. I am standing outside of the doors of FOREVER 21, holding a sign, wearing my JC Penny shirt and K-Mart jacket. A sign that reads: Don't Believe the LIE. I am shredding my $80 gift card from this wretched store. The card I am planning on receiving tomorrow. From my co-workers. The co-workers who no longer know me. The NEW me. The me that hates Forever 21.

Tomorrow, I will speak inspiration. I will speak moving on. Letting go. Today, I am resentful. I am sickened. I really want to shop. Really. REALLY. Want to shop. Must shop FOREVER 21. But I know I have not learned resistance in vain...

I have not gone to COLD STONE in about 2 WHOLE WEEKS. No "Gotta Have It", Founders Favorite. Strawberry and coffee icecream creation. Dear $5.65, I have learned to take care of you.  I have not indulged in an iced coffee in almost a week. No x-cream, x-sugar, hazelnut/toasted almond flavor delight. No money in the world can compare to the art of self-control. My friends are testimony to that. I have taught them that food never compares to the "penny saved, penny earned" theory of satisfaction.

They have learned from me that nutrition must always come before craving. An apple a day keeps the doctor at bay. I mean, I have not gone to the dentist in a VERY long time. And I haven't even needed the apples. After all, McDonald's sells great APPLE pies for only $1. And it says  "Low Fat" on the back. My toothpaste actually prevents gingivitis. Not to mention my inclination for chicken ceasar salad. With extra ceasar dressing on the side. Who needs to floss? The dressing gets anything stuck... unstuck.
You don't know how much of a consolation it is to know that I am indeed a healthy eater. When I go to Burger King for my double Whopper, I always ask for no cheese. And it has absolutely nothing to do with the extra charge.  

Tune in tomorrow, my friends. Because tomorrow isn't here yet and I am already inspired. In a positive light: Love. Eternal life. Health. Abuse prevention... Watch OUT! Becuase this cavity-free, no-longer-21- girl is inspired. I'm not saying I won't feel down in the dumps tomorrow, but I shall definitely be inspired.

P.S. Dalia, Marlen, and Kiara thanks for yesterday! Kenia, thanks for your smile. JZ, thanks for being you. Joanna, thanks for not letting go and holding on! Jenny, thanks for your inspiration in my life. JM, thanks for your present last night! Senia, Lupita, thankyou for showing me that silence sometimes speaks more than words. Mirian, thanks for reading my blog! Mayra, you little sucker... I love you! To all of you: Thank you for contributing to my "healthy eating". Hee hee hee.

The Elusive "Mr. Right"

I received a text a few days ago from a very special friend. In her text, she wrote the following:

"Did you hear I found Mr. Right?!"

I, ofcourse, freaked out and replied, "OMG!!! Who?" Considering that we are both single, I thought maybe God showed her a glimpse of her dream guy.... because it's important to have some sort of idea.

"He gives me eternal life. He walks on water. He is Perfect!! He shines like the sun. He will never leave me. He is a Prince! He died for me! He knows the desires of my heart. He opens the door. he loves me!! I FOUND MR. RIGHT!!!!"

Sad to say, I was disappointed. I had wanted something thrilling. Something exciting out of an oh-so ordinary life. Becuase, you know, after you've seen one customer, you've pretty much seen them all. After you take the same route home every. single. day, you've definitely no risk of getting lost. After your sister gets married and the wedding bells have stopped ringing for over a week, life seems so bland. The romance of it all escapes you.

That's where it helps to have someone like my dear friend remind me of the ultimate romance. The ultimate sacrifice made by...made by love.

And a very special book comes to mind. Now, I know you are thinking the Bible, but in this case, I have to say no. The book is called "Never the Bride". I read it during a very trying time in my life, as did my sister who is six years older than I. She was in sheer desperation and curiosity of who would be her special "Mr. Right". We both went on a journey during the time we read page 1 and concluded with page 100- something.

It showed me a visual of who Jesus is. Of just how much he loves me. In that book, He told me just what my soul had been yearning to hear. That I am loved. I am special. I am worthwhile. In that book, Jesus dined with me. He cooked for me. He cried with me. He understood. my. pain.

In that book, I didn't marry who I thought was perfect for me. I married Him. I fell in love with Him first. And it was just what I had wanted all along. No more purple pen ideologies. No more hollow dreams of Mr. Right. I learned that surrendering my special "purple pen" is indispensible. Not surrendering my imagination, hopes, dreams, or aspirations for my future- "one and only", but letting God make the Ultimate decision.

Needless to say, my sister was engaged a few weeks after terminating the last chapter of the book. I make it sound as though the book made it happen. I know. But in my opinion, it kind of did. When she finished the book, she concluded a chapter in her life. The chapter that ends with surrendering her purple pen and diary, filled with hopes of her future wealthy, Italian husband, and all. Surrendering that to her here and now.

To all my Fellow Single Female Friends:

Let us surrender our Purple Pen, dispose of our doubts. After all, we are surrendering to the One who CREATED romance... 

Heads Up Girls! Here comes the Bouquet...

I guess I threw in the title above to lighten up the mood. The mood of my whole blog. The blog I have been avoiding to write.

Henceforth, we shall ignore the fact that I have been melancholy for the past week. We shall omit the fact that my whole family has been down in the dumps with sadness for what feels like a funeral ambiance. Our precious Mayelli has left us. No one will mention my mother's last-minute tantrum attack moments before the ceremony began. Or how the photographer was barred from the dressing room, where she had hoped to capture those last heartfelt moments. Needless to say, if we had allowed her entrance into the small room, the pictures taken would definitely have been heartfelt. Because my mother was angry and frustrated for "heartfelt" reasons not worth mentioning. 

My guess is that the ONLY thing worth mentioning would be my sister's calmness throughout her last minutes of "singlehood" and her complete oblivion to the chaos around her. Don't get me wrong, my sister has a history for smiling in the most innapropriate moments and laughing after seeing me in a fit of rage. That is her way of being Mayelli, of "lightening up the mood".

In that particular moment, she simply did what she could do best: look absolutely charming and gloriously pretty, feathers, sparkles, birdcage veil, bouncy curls, and all. It was only her and her thoughts of the nervous guy wiggling uncontrollably on the opposite side of the altar. The guy who forgot how to stand, how to smile, how to think straight at that point in their time. He was the perfect example of what a guy should feel as he stands at the front of the altar in desperation to see his beloved.

SO, back to the bouquet...

The moment we had all been waiting for. The moment that predicts our future as single women. Or so French tradition goes.The lucky one to catch the bundle of flowers will indeed marry next. Ha. That is precisely why I did NOT want to stand up and participate. All eyes watching. Gawkers gawking. There I am standing to the side, hoping not to be noticed, while some other girl catches the bouquet, when the bouquet hits me on the shoulder. And I grab it. Before my sister's gorgeous bouquet shatters on the floor.

Call it destiny or just bad luck. Or perhaps nothing at all. 

All in all, I enjoyed my sister's wedding. I adored the colors and the theme, which seemed unclear when she was presenting it to me.

And I was able to contemplate talent. Our talent. The talent of my mother. The talent of friends (thanks Kiara and Jenny!). Talent that I hope very soon to share with the world. Perhaps a wedding coordinating business. Or a top class flower shop. Why not a European bakery? Or wedding catering? Alright, alright, I guess I'm still in the wedding mode, where all I think about are flowers and last-minute decorating. But I found out we are good. Oh man, are we good!

Mayelli, you have my utmost gratitude. You are a top-class sister, daughter, and friend. Thanks for not slapping me across the face when I deserved it. Thanks for taking the role of bread provider. Thank you for not running away from it all. Above all, thank you for your sunshine! I love you, sis!

The Wedding Blues. That is.... in my opinion

Yes, it's a time for celebrating... or so the saying goes. Where the past stays in the past and the blooming future is the here and now. The day that starts off with hair salon visits and last-minute makeup applications. Where dresses and shawls become our main object of torture and the cake is all there is to look forward to. Hearts beating. Armpits gasping for air. Human ribcages constricted to the point of sure death by suffocation. There will be singing and laughing. Crying and wailing. Eating and gawking at any and all passersby.

But surely and most certainly, there will be begging.

Because as sure as the sun sets in the east, my heart will be secretly wishing this moment had not arrived. My heart will beg her to stay and have at least one more late-night chit chat about matters of the heart.

One more cruise down the lake... together as single sisters. And although we are both young, but grown adults, I'd like for us to tease and joke like old times for at least one more decade. As crazy as it sounds, I would put up with 5 more years of her wreckless roomate tendancies all for the sake of having more sister-to-sister moments.

But the day is almost here. The countdown has begun...

The day that my elder sister marries her childhood "enemy"/ now-apple of her eye- fiance.

From the moment she says her "I do", I will officially be second or third or fourth in her life. Selfish. I know. But understand. This is heart-breaking for me.

I am transporting to a different stage in my life. Not exactly sure why, but I feel this weird sensation in my bones that tells me... times are about to change in more ways than one. But in a good way. In a depressingly, new good way. Like when you are down to your last cupcake and a little girl asks to have it. You do nothing but say yes. It's sad, but for the greater good.

So now, I pray. I pray that she lives a fairytale romance. Not something perfect, but something real. Where heartfelt emotion lives in the air they breathe. Where her husband becomes more than a husband, but a prayer warrior. A romance led by  the One who designed romance, God.

 

Palm Trees. Sunny Beach. Oh-so-soothing shore.... ahhh... Life As ItShould Be

Why is it that every time I begin to see the illusive light at the end of the tunnel, something happens? Or I see myself out of the tunnel but find that I have been bombarded with bird poop on my way out?

Now, let's be honest... Life can pretty much stink. A lot. I'd say, dear readers, that our only option would be to join the elephants and the bears, by moving somewhere in a remote jungle where we can live off of coconut juice and mangos. Live the life of Tarzan.

But then again, we would probably pour over ourselves a bigger task of staying alive. I wouldn't call tigers friendly. Now, think of this: People who live in the real world sometimes wish to die. BUT...For some funny reason, we need to stay alive in a jungle. Absolutely imperative to stay alive.

In the jungle, you see things as they are. There are no overbearing bosses or incomprehensive spouses. It's simply You and well... possible death by starvation or being cruelly eaten by an animal  3x smaller or larger than you.  While the bear is tearing you apart or the vulture is ripping your eyeballs out, you'd know exactly what the dictionary failed to describe in the word "pain". Little do you know what is waiting for you on the other side, unless you completely repent of all the times you lied to mom about  who exactly broke her dishes and discarded the evidence.

"In the Jungle, the sheer terror of dying keeps you alive."

Here on earth... the sheer terror of leaving behind an imperfect, but in its own way, loving family behind should scare you out of your pants. The face of your "little brother" figure should keep you up at night to haunt you. All the times you wet your pants or skirt laughing at the dumb thing your friend did should automatically play in your mind every time you even contemplate the idea of giving up your life for a false idea. The time you saved the little girl's life should play as breaking news on every channel.

Tell me, what else do YOU need to see life as it is?

I Live. I eat. Now I write Blogs...

There is something absolutely mind-bloggling about the cycle of life. How we live. We die. We eat. We sleep. We do all of these things without even realizing time is passing us by. Now as for me, I find myself sitting in front of my work computer, staring at the window... and the world beyond- the world I come from and go to after work. For now, I am here. I freeze, my overactive imagination freezes, if only for this moment. I am perfectly still.

No honking the horn or yelling in a way that can turn everyday words into obsenities. The red lights are no longer tempting me. There is no one to shout at or blame for my mistakes. It's just me and well.. my soul. Ann I. Dee's soul. And watch out... it's anything but pretty.

And here and Now, I think: I must blog. Yes, I convinced my brilliant friend, rockinruby25 to blog. But I must blog. I must grab on to what little time I have left. Before the big, bad monster of a job I have swallows me whole. And I leave nothing here on earth to account for my life. Becuase of the imperfect condition of my soul, I must blog.

Now... there is something good about seeing our humane reality. It's good to take a profound look in the invisible mirror that follows us around, waiting for us to notice. Our family members show us a clear reflection of who we are. The words they say or perhaps dont say shout louder than a million voices. Or atleast in my case they do.

We can live life thinking that the whole world owes us.  Direct our steam towards innocent bystanders that are unfortunate enough to cross our paths during our moments of wrath. Act as if we were supposed to have the innate abilities to reason in a complex way. We can and we do. Now here is the good part:

"The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair."(RK)

Disect this. Read it. Until you figure out what exactly would be fair.... Until next time